Nightmares
by Lauka2
Summary: Her biggest fear, was the fear of being left alone, abandoned. Just a quick fic on my OC Renee Johnson's biggest fear, and a small hint of my theory on how Marcia Johnson become a lone mom


Just a quick one shot i just wrote that describes Renee's biggest fear.

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Every night it's the same. I keep seeing the same for my eyes, keep hearing those same words. I can't block them out, I can only sit and watch as yet another person I love and care about walk out of my life. Another person who doesn't love me back, who doesn't care what I think or feel. Another person I loose, and with him, loose a part of me I'll never get back. And I scream. I scream for him to turn around, to not go, and to stay. Stay with me; stay so I won't go insane. But no sound comes out. It makes him angrier, he starts yelling. His voice reverberating of the walls that encase me. I scream, just to make it stop, but it won't. nothing I do can stop it. He yells, I can hear him 'I WON'T PUT UP WITH YOU ANYMORE!' he yells at me. I scream, reaching out my hand to grab him. But he walks away from me 'DON'T EVEN TOUCH ME!' he slaps away my hand and looks at me. I can't even describe the look. Then the scene from the first person ever leaving comes up. I see him, pack his stuff. Mom is crying in her room, Bash is crying. I don't understand anything that's going on. I look up at my dad. He looks back at me, with no emotion in his face. I walk towards him and hug his leg. I look up, then I see it. He doesn't have any expression in his face, not regret, not sadness or anything. It's like he's just going out to take some fresh air, but I realize something, once he leaves, he won't come back and I start crying. He doesn't even try to comfort me. He just pushes me away, and walks out the door. I see him walk away, and I scream for him to come back, but my voice cracks, and no more sound comes out. Next one to leave me was one I loved nearly as much. She'd been my tutor, she'd been like a sister. But she walked out on me too. She didn't even give me any form of warning, one day, I just never saw her again. I had feared she might leave me, but I thought she'd give some sort of warning, my dad had given small signs, but I had failed to notice at the time. She just left, no signs indicating she'd leave. One day… she was just gone.  
But this time, I'm more scared than any of the other times. I look up at him. He's just staring and me, his eyes so full of anger. I scream again, just so I can think of something else. I keep telling myself that it's not real, but it doesn't help. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and fast as I can and sit up in a bed. I look around confused and disoriented. I feel the hand squeeze my shoulder and turn around. He looks at me, worried this time.

"You okay?" I hear him ask softly. Tears start streaming down my face, and I hug him. He lets out a surprised gasp, but I don't care at the moment. I just hug him closely, and after a small while he hugs back, he doesn't know why I hug him, but he can see I need him here. He hums a bit of my favorite song, just some random song I found andloved. I start to calm down and look up at him.

"nightmares?" he asks and I nod slightly. He hugs me tighter and sighs, then he kisses my forehead, just a friendly kiss. I wish he didn't. it only makes me love him more. I start crying, I can't stop. He comforts me, but all I want is for him to stop, to call me a cry baby, just do something that would make me like him less. Do something that'll make it hurt less when he leaves me. Because some day, like everybody else I care about too much, they leave me. And I know, that when he leaves me, I'll be alone. No one understands my fear, no one knows about it. It hides deep with in, and I hardly ever show. But it scares me more than anything on this entire planet. I'm deadly scared, of being abandoned. Being left by someone I care about. I hug him tighter, reaffirming that he's still there, letting me relax, even if it's for a short while, I can relax. He won't leave, not right now. But one day… they all leave…

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Yeah, so, what do think?

I really think i'll show the more angsty side of Renee at one point of The Returning Friend, because she's really jolly at the moment...

I hope you liked this :D


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